Why Nigerians Love Agony Aunts
For a while now, agony aunt columns in Nigerian media have offered Nigerians some of the most convenient routes for addressing intimate and societal issues, and navigating the complexities of relationships and cultural norms.
On 04 November 1998 in P.M. News another episode of the advice column ‘Agony Aunt’ with Temi Peters was published; just like any other episode in the four years that it had been running. Beneath the column’s title was a bold white subheading in a black text box: ‘How Do I “Toast”?’. This letter, drafted to ‘Aunty Temi’, was a cry for help from a 27-year-old working-class man named Prince (whose full name and address are included in the publication, as was the culture at the time). Prince claimed to be ‘living quite well’ but he had a problem: He did not know how to toast a woman. The word ‘toast’ refers to a few other things but in this context, peculiar to Nigerians, it loosely denotes the ability to woo a person, much similar to the modern-day slang, ‘rizz’. It is reasonable to suggest that prior to the advent of social media a situation like this is one the average Nigerian man would have been reluctant to admit publicly, especially with the boldness to include his full name and address in a newspaper that circulated across Lagos and its environs.
Despite never having met her in person, there is a display of trust from Prince towards Aunty Temi, as there was for many of her readers and correspondents, and this is seen in the familial manner in which Prince ‘desperately’ pleads for a fiancée. The agony aunt column provided a unique platform, a kind of safety net, where Nigerians of all backgrounds—men and women; young and old; single, married or even those engaged in extramarital affairs—felt comfortable sharing their personal struggles. Agony aunt columns in Nigerian media, particularly the P.M. News’ column, have existed as convenient routes to addressing intimate and societal issues as well as fostering open dialogue. They have evolved from doling out personal advice and providing informal matchmaking services to ultimately reflecting the complexities of relationships and the cultural norms of Nigeria from the 90s till date.
The archival materials for this essay were sourced from Archivi.ng, an initiative founded by Fu’ad Lawal, dedicated to preserving Nigerian history by digitizing old newspapers...
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