Being Pro-Women Is Not Anti-men
Why are boys’ issues often used to derail the conversation when issues affecting girls are raised? Until men recognize that our true battle is against patriarchy and not feminism, we will remain stuck, unable to achieve meaningful progress.
Every year, the International Day of the Girl Child is celebrated on October 11, while the Day of the Boy Child comes earlier on May 16. Yet, certain segments of Nigerian men online wait until October 11 to advocate for boys’ issues—not to complement the celebration but to compete with it—reducing the conversation to a battle rather than recognizing both causes as deserving of attention. This begs the question: why do boys’ issues only seem to matter when girls are being celebrated?
With the evolution of feminism in Nigeria, particularly in online spaces, there has been a notable rise in anti-feminist backlash. On one hand, this backlash opposes women’s advocacy and activism. On the other, it urges women to include men in their advocacy rather than antagonizing them. As Arab gender researcher Farida D. aptly puts it, ‘If you believe that being pro-women is anti-men, then you’re admitting that your version of being pro-men is anti-women.’ This pattern of resistance is not unique to feminism. Like other socio-political movements, feminism is now criticized for allegedly sidelining the privileged.
A similar dynamic was evident during the Black Lives Matter movement, when some white people, feeling excluded, countered with slogans like ‘White Lives Matter’ or the more commonly used ‘All Lives Matter’. Ironically, many Nigerian men understand how such responses deflect from the specific challenges Black people face, yet they struggle to apply the same reasoning to feminist causes within their own context. This is yet another example of the privileged class viewing equality as oppression because the world no longer caters to them exclusively. As other groups begin to receive the attention they have long deserved, the privileged feel ‘forgotten’ or unfairly treated, even though that is not the reality of things.
The issue with ‘bothsidesism’ is not that one side is unimportant, but that one side has not historically faced the marginalization the other side has experienced. Moreover, this perspective often frames the situation as a conflict between two opposing groups—men versus women. In truth, it is not about men versus women; it is about feminism versus patriarchy...
Every year, The Republic publishes the most ambitious writing focused on Africa, from news and analysis to long-form features.
To continue reading, Register for a Free Pass.
Already a subscriber? Log in.