‘Publishing a Novel During a Global Pandemic Is Distracting’ Candice Iloh’s First Draft

Nigerian-American award-winning author of Every Body Looking, Break This House, and Salt the Water, Candice Iloh, wouldn’t change much about their 2020 debut, only that they would have celebrated it more: ‘The dream I’d had for the year my first book came out crumbled so quickly that it stopped feeling exciting.’

First Draft is our interview column, featuring authors and other prominent figures on books, reading, and writing.

Our questions are italicized.

What books or kinds of books did you read growing up?

I have a hard time remembering the specifics, but I read a little bit of everything growing up. I used Hooked On Phonics at home to learn how to read before Kindergarten and started reading all of my dad’s work papers around the house in elementary school. I faintly remember being terrified of the middle grade horror series Goosebumps, but I loved the writing. I also had a brief moment with Nancy Drew novels and Archie comics, but I don’t really remember connecting emotionally to anything I read until college. It felt like I had a second puberty in college where I began finding more of what I liked to read and, at that time, it was poetry. It felt like getting a second chance at being seen in stories. I loved to write and read growing up but that feeling of belonging that people might find in books is something I didn’t have until my 20s.

What’s the last thing you read and disagreed with?

A racist comment on Instagram. We don’t have to go into details, lol. The comment sections are always a cesspool, and I knew better.

What’s the last thing you read that changed your mind about something?

I wanted to say that this hasn’t happened in a very long time and then I remembered my experience reading Kiley Reid’s recent novel, Come and Get It. I’m not going to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t read it yet, but I think reading that novel revealed a lot to me about me. It changed my mind about what I believe everyone’s purpose for writing books is. It also showed me that what I believe about the author and/or the background of the characters they create can restrict the experience I’m supposed to have while reading the story. Reading that book, I swung from one side of the pendulum to the other, but you’ll have to read it to know what I mean.

It felt like I had a second puberty in college where I began finding more of what I liked to read and, at that time, it was poetry.

What is your writing process: edit as you write or draft first, then edit?

Unfortunately, I cannot help but edit as I write, so it takes me a while to complete a full first draft. I also spend a lot of time thinking about my characters and possible scenes before I ever put anything down. About 80 per cent of the time it takes me to write a book, I spend in my head rearranging things and making sure I understand my vision and what my protagonist wants. I truly wish to be like my friends who can just get it all out without messing with it until the end. They seem like they’re having a lot more fun, haha!

What was your process for writing your debut young adult (YA) novel, Every Body Looking?

I was all over the place, working about four to five teaching artist jobs in multiple boroughs throughout New York, with no prior knowledge of how to write a book. I just wrote, revised, and got workshopped whenever and wherever I could. Every Body Looking came together like a puzzle and so much of the process was an experiment. I wrote 15 pages of it as my application to my MFA program in 2015 and had an agent by graduation day, two years later. Before it was a full manuscript, I tried out some sections as a one-person show in Harlem in 2018. We pitched it as a full novel later that year and I worked with my editor for the following year to get it where it needed to be. At no point in the process did I feel like I knew how to write a novel, but I was writing one. I’ve since learned a lot about how I can reframe that journey for myself along the way.

Every Body Looking, which was a finalist for the National Book Award, is a ‘beautifully crafted narrative about family, belonging, sexuality, and telling our deepest truths in order to be whole.’ Looking back, what’s one thing you might revise/do differently if you were to write it again?

I don’t think I’d change too much, honestly. My belief is that debuts are supposed to be a solid introduction of the author to the world, and I think I accomplished that. I mainly look back to the time that Every Body Looking came out and just wish I’d celebrated the moment more. Due to the rapid spread of COVID-19, most bookstores weren’t open, and the general public was less likely to come across my book while browsing their local shop. The dream I’d had for the year my first book came out crumbled so quickly that it had stopped feeling exciting. Debuting a YA verse novel in 2020 was rough, and somehow, my readers still found this story and audiences that I hadn’t expected felt it was resonant and worthy of recognition. I wish I knew how to be prouder of myself back then but publishing a novel during a global pandemic is distracting, to say the least lol.

In this novel, the protagonist, Ada, attends a Historically Black College, stumbles deeper into the world of dance, and explores her sexuality. Are there similarities between yourself and this character?

I’m a queer Nigerian-American Howard University alum who danced for 27 years. The similarities, parallels, and life-themes between myself and Ada run deep.

About 80 per cent of the time it takes me to write a book, I spend in my head rearranging things and making sure I understand my vision and what my protagonist wants.

How did your approach to writing change while working on your latest novel, Salt the Water? 

Writing SALT came with even more experiments because it is a story that has a lot more questions than answers. SALT features young people who dream about something many of us have never seen before and know nothing about: living life outside of the dependent relationship we have with institutions that fail us. At first, much of writing this book was me toiling with the idea of what it would logistically take for a group of teens to divest from the only world they’ve ever known and how to live off the grid. I was considering that the story follows four young people who are entertaining an idea they knew nothing about in reality (spoiler alert: starting a life off the grid costs a lot of money and other resources most kids have no access to if they come from urban environments). But the further I went down that rabbit hole, the more I realized I’d skipped many steps and that I’d rather allow these young people to first question their current surroundings—the systems they navigate daily that would inspire an exodus of this magnitude at such a young age. That consideration alone allowed me to approach the novel with the more present state of the American education system and the circumstances that might lead a young person to not want to withdraw from participation altogether.

Salt the Water ‘is a book about dreaming in a world that has other plans for your time, your youth, and your future. It asks, ‘What does it look like when a bunch of queer Black kids are allowed to dream?’ Which book/author had the most influence on your approach to writing it?

I didn’t really think about any other books or authors this go ‘round. I was mostly hyper-fixated on kids who were supposed to be graduating or beginning high school when the pandemic hit. It was hard for me to move beyond the fact that being a student and young person in the 2020s is hard and deeply disappointing. I wanted to give voice to that. I also was certain that I wanted to do it in a way that felt visceral and new.

What’s your Holy Trinity of young adult fiction?

I don’t have one of those. As I shift, so do the books that I care about most.

Which book did you enjoy in the last year and wish more people knew about? 

That would be Razorblade Tears by S.A. Cosby, hands down. It isn’t a YA novel, but it felt redemptive for me to read as a queer person with family members who have struggled to understand and know me. I wish it was required reading for all parents of queer children. It’s one hell of a story.

What books will you be taking with you on holiday this year?  

I’ve got a birthday trip coming up and I’ll more than likely still be slowly peeling away at Ours by Phillip B. Williams. It’s over 500 pages and I’m reading it, little by little, in the bathtub. It’s a perfect novel to read in and by water.

I love seeing teenagers portrayed as they really are in stories. Not as adults perceive them or want them to be, but who they really are when they’re with their close friends and by themselves.

What is your favourite topic to write or read about these days?

I recently read Akwaeke Emezi’s, You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty and that book encapsulated what feels fun to read right now. It’s been nice to read about Black people across the diaspora living their lives to the fullest even if it’s scandalous. It’s a grounding escape.

What are you currently working on?

I’ve got another YA up my sleeve but it’s still pretty top secret. I’m also slowly working with the illustrator of my forthcoming picture book, EMEKA: EAT EGUSI! In the between time, I’ve been taking my time in building community and collaborating with local, Philly-based artists as I take better care of my health and home. I’m working on being a person and what it takes to live a life that supports my ability to be creative, useful, and present with the people that I love. I’m working toward settling into my roles as author, friend, adjunct professor, and partner to my wife. I think a big part of growing as an artist is being an active participant in your life and lately, I’m starting to understand how to do that fully.

Question from Nana Ekua Brew-Hammond: What did you have to let go of, or let in, to write your latest book offering?

I had to let go of the desire to be loved by what does not love me and let in the opportunity to create the spaces, relationships, and life that do. In writing SALT, that helped me to imagine a young person whose personal convictions lead them to do what some might perceive as the unthinkable to access personal freedom.

Bonus: Please suggest a question for a future author’s First Draft  

What is your family’s relationship to your work?

Who do you think we should interview next?

Rimma Onosetta, author of How You Grow Wings⎈

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