The Problem With Age Gaps in Romantic Relationships

On a Tuesday afternoon, with a fastened pace and darkened photochromic glasses, I was on my way to attend a lecture with my friend and an acquaintance. On getting there, the class was packed with enthusiastic course mates who held punctuality close to heart. Beside many of them sat their bags, stand-ins reserving seats for their friends who might never even attend the lecture. We decided the class was not worth standing through, so we left before the lecturer arrived.

‘I can’t believe people date their course mates,’ my friend said with a mischievous smile.

I could not fathom what prompted the statement, but it was one I was willing to analyse.

‘I don’t see anything wrong with that,’ I responded.

‘Dating someone a few classes ahead or out of school is just better. They are more mature and just better,’ the repeated word ‘better’ begged me to agree with her.

‘I don’t believe that,’ I muttered. I have never understood why there needed to be an age gap between partners in a heterosexual relationship, nor have I ever questioned it.

The acquaintance butted into the conversation sharing similar beliefs with my friend. Suddenly it was a two-against-one, and I knew that I had already lost the casual debate against an age-old practice. Since that day, I started conversations about age disparity in heterosexual relationships with the women around me and after three or four meaningful and eye-opening dialogue, it dawned on me that societal encouragement of age gaps is exactly why we will continue to have a gender unequal society.